


Heartaches By the Number

by My_Dear_Watson



Series: I Bet My Life [2]
Category: Fallout 3, Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 15:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3815920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Dear_Watson/pseuds/My_Dear_Watson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boone considers his relationship with the Courier and all of the questions that come with it, once again. When the doubts start creeping in, a chance meeting with another one of the Wasteland's heroes and her family puts things in perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heartaches By the Number

Two months after he and Corey had kissed and at least acknowledged that there was… something between them, Boone still wasn’t sure exactly what they were. Things hadn’t exactly progressed, and they hadn’t spoken about it much. They had kissed a handful of times since then and there was less physical space between them when they were around each other, but that had been it. He was still unsure about how far he was willing to let things go, and she was as patient as could be, just going along with it.

He couldn’t stop thinking he didn’t deserve her with that mindset, let alone that she didn’t need him the way things were lately, despite her always trying to prove him wrong. Things had a way of turning the tables on them and having him rethink his motives, however, and that happened the day she had started to need him again.

Her name was- _is_ Addison. Not Corey.

The pair found that out when they were a few states away from Vegas. They had been asked to travel to California. As per usual, she was optimistic, and he was cautious at best. He expected nothing but trouble there. However, the trip had ended up startlingly bland, and they delivered the news on expansion progress to the NCR Office there, and called it a success. They had been at a market restocking on supplies when someone had shrieked and pulled Corey away from his side. He had half a mind to grab her gun from its holster on her hip when she was still in arms reach. He brought it up and pointed it at whoever grabbed her, only to stop in confusion. Her apparent attackers were older man and woman, the latter of which whom a striking resemblance to Corey, but they weren’t attacking. They were _hugging_ Corey between them. They were babbling and crying. When Corey had tried shoving her way out from between them and insisted that they had her mistaken for someone else, the woman had laughed and simply said. “Very funny, honey, but I think we recognize our own daughter, no matter how much she tries to excommunicate us.”

Corey had gone absolutely still in shock at that one.

The couple, shortly introduced as John and Marian, ushered them down the street and towards their home without so much as hearing any excuse he or Corey _\- no, Addison_ could come up with. They wanted to catch up with their daughter- it ‘ _had_ been several years’ since they had seen her without so much as a word- Boone was pretty sure they were doomed.

Explaining the whole amnesia-is-why-you-haven’t-heard-from-me-and-I-don’t-exactly-know-you-anymore thing without the whole got-shot-in-the-head-then-roped-into-saving-the-world bit was awful. _Addison_ had fished for lies the whole time, and Boone had merely nodded and grunted along in agreement with whatever story she spun. It got too uncomfortable for him numerous times and he went to leave the family alone, but her sudden, periodic vicegrips on his thigh or arm, hidden under the dining table was enough for him to stay.

After that dinner and exchanges of addresses and promises to stay in touch after all of them had finally reached their cap of awkward conversation, Addison and Boone had all but bolted for the door. He was genuinely surprised when the woman had a full-on breakdown, knees buckling and all, a matter of seconds after leaving the place and getting out of eyesight of the place. It was expected, but not to that degree with her. It also marked another rare occasion where he had seen her cry. He hated it when she cried- even before they became… whatever they were he couldn’t handle it.  The severity of said breakdown, however, was knocked down several pegs when she had mostly finished with the serious list of facts, and then had squawked rather indignantly through her tears, “and what kind of fucking name is Addison, anyway?!” before curling against his thigh again.

“Still wanna be called Corey?” he asked quietly.

“I… don’t know. It’s… not fair to them, is it?” she asked after a moment.

“You gotta start worrying about you first occasionally…” he pointed out. “This is probably a perfectly reasonable example of when you can do that.”

“I… … maybe we should give it a test run.”

“Sounds like a plan…” he nodded slowly. “… Addie?” he supplied after a moment. The nickname felt even more wrong on his tongue than 'Addison' had.

“Better, but still awful.”

* * *

 

The test run was slow at best. Boone had shifted back and forth from both, and when they had reunited with the others, they were mostly torn- or indifferent. To Raul, she was always going to be ‘Boss’. For Lily- whatever grandkid of hers came to mind first. Cass had gotten used to Corey, so she wanted to stick with it. Veronica was insistent that Addie was a cool name and was immediately going to start calling her that.. She was happy that Arcade seemed to have her policy on it- he had tested out saying ‘Addison’, and then had stuck with calling her ‘you’ if they spoke, and made a promise to switch right back to Corey if she so wished eventually.

She had taken a two-week long mental health break after all that and had sent everyone home. Boone had decided to stick with her for a while. Boone still remembered when Arcade had heard that he was staying, he had mentioned it was a good idea- “you two can finally have some alone time. Be a couple, if that’s what you guys are still doing. Get out, do couple-y things.” Boone had muttered about forgetting what ‘couple-y things’ were, and Arcade had just shrugged,  “well, it’s not the same as it was for you before. Now it’s ‘take out some raiders, then have a nice dinner by the fire’. You’ll figure it out.” The comment had almost earned him a punch to the jaw, but he got away clean.

Shortly after, another task that Doc Mitchell asked of them had them preparing to go to New D.C. The trip there was uneventful and mostly standard for them. A few scrapes with Raiders, a near death experience with cazadors, and a few odds jobs later, they had made it. They found themselves in Megaton.

Addison had seen the bomb in the middle of the town and practically swallowed her tongue, but a passerby had assured them it was a dud, thanks to the town’s hero- apparently more specifically _D.C’s_ hero, who ‘lives just up that hill there, next to Moriarty’s.’

Boone had been tempted to point out that if they hadn’t been trustworthy the woman doing the telling had just potentially endangered the hero’s life, but Addison had managed to wrestle him away before he had the chance. They had the Doc’s old friend Lucas Simms to look for, anyway.

 They made it over to Moriarty’s to settle in for the day and find out what they could about their contact. Someone was bound to know where the sheriff was. When they mentioned looking for the man, Moriarty himself had eyed them suspiciously, but then a man in an eyepatch and bandana had intercepted them, introduced himself as Billy and told them that Lucas was talking with his wife back home, which was right next to the bar. Moriarty countered that Billy’s wife didn’t deserve having strangers about the house after all she had done for D.C, and Billy was in the wrong for offering. Billy waved at him dismissively, then motioned for Boone and Addison to follow.

One region’s hero was going to meet another’s by chance. Go figure.

They followed him over to the house, dodging a couple of kids as they went. The girl of the two had almost knocked Boone off of his feet and Billy had apologized profusely, naming her Maggie, his “daughter… more or less”- whatever that meant. He led them in and introduced Lucas Simms and his wife, Lexa- “you might know her as the Lone Wanderer ‘round these parts. Never really got the name, myself. She was always travelling with someone ‘fore she settled here.”

They had heard of the Lone Wanderer from word of mouth on other trips, of course. Neither had expected the woman in front of them to be it, though. She looked too relaxed and carefree for the description to match. When the Wanderer, Lexa had sized Addison up and mentioned thinking she’d be larger in frame, Boone had expected animosity, even if it was arguably a compliment. There was no negativity to speak of. Both women had laughed and made quick small talk before the topic of Doc and Lucas arranging medical supply trading went on. It was over with quickly, and before either of the men knew it, the girls were trading stories about woes that came with being a celebrity of the world-saving variety.

They stayed in Megaton for a while. During the time, Boone had noticed Lexa and Billy were everything that he and Addison weren’t. They were openly affectionate. He remembered one of the first times the girls had gone off on a mission together. Lexa and Addison had come back and Lexa had dropped into Billy’s lap, took his bandana off his head to put it on her own, then kissed him. It almost physically hurt, seeing something that he could barely ever give Corey for the sheer fact that they made it look so easy. He knew he could never pull it off.

Individually, however, and maybe even together that way, the other two were also fairly similar to them, just reversed. Lexa was quiet and noble and too good for the world- more so than Corey was. And Billy wasn’t fair off from that, either. He was a good man- matching fashion sense with Manny aside. Where Lexa was quiet, he was outspoken, loud, friendly and never had a negative thing to say about anyone that wasn’t unwarranted. There needed to be more people like them out in the Wastelands. It needed optimism and positivity like that. And Boone hated optimism and positivity- most of the time, anyway.

Worse _and_ better yet, Lexa, Billy and Maggie, Billy’s adopted daughter, were a family- not at all blood related, but ridiculously tight knit. Maggie might as well have been their blood daughter, the way they spoiled her. And so that was another proverbial gaping wound they gave Boone- the means to wonder what would’ve happened if Carla and their child were still around? Would the kid be sweet, tough, quiet? Would he have been a good father? The last one was the worst because the possibility was back, now with Addison, but what if something happened and he lost her? Or if they had a kid, what if they lost the kid? What if he lost the kid _and_ Addison? He couldn’t go through that again.  

He had tried to make the fact that he was worried so much about those possibilities as quiet as possible, but once again, life had a way with screwing him over.

 He had figured Addison had caught on after a while since she had gotten cautious around him and had started those near-infuriating shoulder touches before “are you okay”s, but she didn’t say much else.

And then came the night that they had all gone out to take care of a gang of mercenaries holed up just outside the city limits in a hotel. Lexa had ordered Billy to stay out and keep lookout or take out returning stragglers, then she, Boone and Addison had gone to clear out the place. Halfway through, one of the stronger mercs had almost taken Lexa’s head off with a shotgun blast and took the shot a mere couple of feet from her head. If she hadn’t ducked so quickly, she would’ve been dead. And judging by how stiff she was the rest of the time, she knew it. When they got to Billy, she had still been stiff and careful, but kept up consistent physical contact and after a while finally told him what had almost happened. That night when they had checked into a motel for the night, Boone and Addison had taken one room and Lexa and Billy the next one over. Sharing a bed with Addison was enough to start the baby worries again, but she made no move to do anything, as per usual. But when they heard the other two having sex, he figured he was doomed. He couldn’t even bring himself to be embarrassed for the other two. He and Addison had gone absolutely quiet and had stared at the ceiling, trying to tune it out. With all of the doubts going through Boone’s mind, it was fairly easy- and then he heard Addison potentially crying. It all hit him at once- she had probably been thinking similar things and those sounds and the implications were doing nothing for them.

That was, until he glanced her way and found out she wasn’t crying at all- she was trying to muffle her laughter. He grunted in relief, and that was enough for the damn to break and she let it out, then promptly bit her hand to keep it down again before turning into his side. She muttered something about ‘poor bastards just wanting a moment’ that he didn’t quite catch, and before he knew it, he had started to chuckle at the actual absurdity as well. Crisis averted, for now.

A matter of months later, the situation reached its be all, end all. That night in the motel had resulted in Lexa being pregnant. She, Billy and Maggie had been visiting them in Goodsprings when they found out.  Doc Mitchell had been in the middle of a catch-up conversation with Addison when he had stopped, looked Lexa up and down once and pretty much announced that she was at least two months along- “no offense, and you’re perfectly skinny, but… I’ve been watching this stuff for years and I know. Congrats.” Billy had almost fallen over on the spot. The pair of them couldn’t stop smiling the rest of the day, and didn’t leave a ten foot radius of each other for most of it, too. Maggie was just as thrilled about getting a baby sibling. The Doc had requested that they should stay in town and therefore out of danger for a while for the sake of the baby, and offered up one of his back rooms as a place to stay for good measure. They agreed, and Corey had arranged a meetup with Ringo and Billy so they could work together the next day. But there was that reality again, and Boone was fairly sure he hated his life.

Nine months later, a healthy little Annabelle Jamie Creel was born.

Of course, after it turned out Addison was brilliant with kids he felt bad all over again.  It had been a few days of the family being in relative isolation, making sure everything was okay, but after that, Billy and Lexa were ecstatic to show off the baby to them. They were thrilled that Addison didn’t even need much convincing to hold the baby and went to work rocking and cooing at her. Boone realized that she probably was so good with it because she did want one and his thoughts in the motel weren’t far off. Even up until then, they hadn’t so much as gotten two thirds of the way into doing anything that could lead to making a baby.

 When Billy asked him if he wanted to hold the kid, he had stared at her for a good few seconds with all of the negatives going through his head- _he didn’t deserve to, he had already fucked up his own child’s life and it hadn’t even gotten that far_ \- and then all of the “What if”s came to mind. He went with the most obvious one, which was coincidentally the last thing on his mind. He claimed he was worried he’d drop her. The couple took it as a decent answer with an easy smile, but the brief panicked look hadn’t been lost on Addison. She did the Shoulder Thing again, but the sudden thought he was disappointing her wasn’t intent on being shaken anytime soon.

A matter of days later they had to take a trip to Ringo’s outpost and left Annabelle in his and Addison’s care. Boone was dreading it to begin with, but things got worse when Sunny came by to get Corey to go take care of a rabid dog pack a few miles away. She had accepted, so he was alone with Annabelle for a while. He had brought her outside in her rocker- more for him to watch over the Doc’s place than her.  But when he was passing by the rocker at one point, she managed to grab hold of two of his fingers and he was a goner from there. He had merely gawked at her for a moment when she felt him before he sighed and bent down beside her so she could get a better hold on him. His heart pounded, but he leaned over. “Hey, Kiddo…”he moved his finger to keep her somewhat engaged. “You have no idea how lucky you are, you know that? Your parents love you, they’ve made enough friends that you’ll be taken care of if anything happens, you’re gonna be well off for life…” he sighed and smiled when she giggled. “And you’re not even gonna know it for ages, huh?”

“So you do talk!”

Boone turned around to see Maggie leaning in the doorway, watching him.

“Always have. Just haven’t seen any purpose in talking over your dad…” he explained.

Maggie frowned, then looked from her surrogate sister, to him. “And you do like babies after all.”

 “Still not quite sure about that. Tolerate them, maybe,” he corrected.

Maggie’s frown deepened. “Why don’t you and Addie have kids?”

Boone arched an eyebrow at her, then sighed. Maybe beating around the bush with the generalized truth would do the trick if this kid was going to be that immature about- _that_.  “ ‘Cause something happened to my family before and I don’t really… want to… risk things.”

“Well, you love her, don’t you?”

Boone flinched, then caught the humor in the statement and laughed. It was definitely Billy that put the whole ‘must be in love to have a kid with someone’ ideal in her head. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to mess with that- for her sake, or his. If the girl was just into her teens and still had that outlook, it was pretty damn well ingrained. Now he had to lie. “We travel a lot more than your parents. We wouldn’t want a baby to get that caught up in all those changes, or sick, or anything.”  

“But do you love her?”  

Boone sighed.  He wasn’t going to win. He never won with people who were ready to make a point. Hell, Corey was the only one who let him win half the time. “Maybe…”

Maggie crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re weird. But I like you.”

He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cringe at that. He settled for ignoring it completely and giving Annabelle his free hand as well.

When Addison and Sunny got back, Addison had picked up with Annabelle exactly where she had left off, cooing and bouncing her on her knee. When she spotted Boone giving them a strange look, just as always, she understood why he had been even more quiet than usual. And unbeknownst to him, her heart ached.  “Oh… my God.”

“What?” he said, a little too quickly.

She sighed and set Annabelle down. “Boone. _Craig_.  You idiot.”

“What?” he repeated. He hated to hear most people call him by his first name, but her- there was always that underlaying meaning that came with it when she used it. 

She let out a laugh that was all sympathy, and he tried not to groan out loud. He wasn’t sure what to think when she set Annabelle down, walked over and put her hands firmly on his shoulders before leaning forward.

Her facial expression and tone were soft, though. “I’m not gonna get baby fever after dealing with _one_ baby. Look, we’ve been over the whole… relationship... _pacing_ thing, and if that… ends up… in… ‘having a baby’ territory, I’m not gonna get… attached to that idea unless you’re one hundred percent with me, you got me?” she repeated.

“I…” he began, then sighed and eased up.

“Hey…” she closed the space between them to kiss him, and he didn’t know how to feel when she looked relieved when he tilted his head up to meet her halfway. She pulled back and stroked his cheek. “Breathe. Move on. This shouldn’t be on the list of things you should be worried about. We’ll get there when we get there. _If_ we get there.” She kissed him again and he knew it was more to reassure him and prove her point, and he figured he’d have to take it by now. She seemed to take his answering grunt as reassurance of her own and headed back inside the house.

 

* * *

 

It was a Tuesday when he realized that Maggie no longer had anything to worry about because he was in love with Addison. And it _hurt_. 

Hurt because it took almost losing her and not being there for him to realize it, and then so many things click in the hours after the realization happened.

He was at his table in the Lucky 38 Suite, wondering just what part of cleaning his rifle has Rex so interested when he heard the elevator doors open. He braced himself, not having a single clue what the next few minutes would be like.

Five days prior he and Addison had their first blown-out fight. It wasn’t the usual tiff where he voiced not liking a plan, she assured him it would work out, they stewed for a few minutes then came back and carried on, fight forgotten with her the undisclosed victor. There had been no grace period. It had been a full on fight that Cass had even tried to step in to diffuse.

There had been a new, tiny faction of people who didn’t even have a name, but their purpose was killing Courier Six and major NCR heroes since they still blamed her and the NCR for the world’s problems. The group had been cracking down on varying routes around New Vegas. Apparently, some habits died hard. She had wanted to go meet up with the rest of her family to try and “re-learn everything- everyone.” In the process of getting there she had planned to cut through multiple NCR territories, right through the group's target areas, and he was livid. It wasn’t intentional, but it was pretty damn obvious, and she was asking for trouble. When he had brought it up, she had gotten more offended than usual. She had figured it was lack of faith in her skills again, and this time she wasn’t hearing it when he tried to argue that it wasn’t the case. It had led to a bigger fight, probably fueled by lack of sleep, decent meals and whatever other unfortunate things were piling up. She had stormed off, and then they hadn’t heard a word from her since.

But that changed when it was the King who came through the doors with Addison in his arms- not that he could see that yet. He was around the corner when he heard the King call out about her,  and something in him twisted, almost to the point where he didn’t hear the call for Arcade a moment later. He got up and turned the corner to see what was going on, but then stopped short when he saw that Addison was tucked against his chest as he was carrying her. When it came to her appearance, her hair seemed more straw-like than usual, and what parts of her skin weren’t greenish were red and blotchy. “What happened?! Arc-“ but the doctor was already at his side, taking the woman from the King and taking her into the master bedroom, muttering as he went. He watched them for a beat, then took in the other person who had come in behind King. One was a reheaded young woman who looked like Addison and he realized it must’ve been one of the relatives she had gone to see. “What. Happened?!” he repeated. "King?!"

The King gawked at him for a minute, then shrugged. “Don’t know. Traveler came by with her over his shoulder. Heard it was… mix’a radiation and cazador venom and exhaustion- regular and heat, an’- shit, man, I don’t know, there was just some idiot thought he needed to get my clearance to get through Freeside luggin’ her with him, and I came straight here hopin’ the doc was in, and he is and now he can help her...” the gang leader explained. He cast a curious, pleading look at Arcade at the last minute. 

“I think I can!” came Arcade’s voice from the room. “Ronnie! Get in here!”

The young woman came from the guestroom and hurried inside. There was a hushed conversation after she had apparently panicked as well, and then a few moments later she ran out the door and into the elevator. Boone watched the floor tracker go down two floors, then went into the master bedroom and waited- for anything. For a sign of life, for Arcade to tell him to do something, but the doctor merely shooed him right back out with a promise that he’d do all he can.

Three days later, he had barely moved from her bedside after he had convinced Arcade- through threats on his life, but that wasn’t important- to let him stay there. The next one who kept an as nearly close watch was the girl who showed up a couple of days after King had arrived- confirmed baby sister to Addison, Abigail.

For what felt like ages, Addison’s condition was touch and go. She was coming around one day and then dying the next. 

Higher Powers- whatever they were, because God sure as Hell wasn’t looking out for him- had a knack for screwing up any chance of happiness that Boone had. Suddenly every single time he had been hard on her- even back when they first met seemed far too cold of him.

The fifth night was another night that the pattern continued, broken down by hours. He heard her moan at one point and he leaned over. “You’re not allowed to die. You hear me? You can’t do that to me. And you’ve got too many other people depending on you, too. You’ve never been one to disappoint or abandon anyone, don’t start now. Not when I wasn’t around to watch your back…” he sighed. So that was the problem. He hadn’t even thought about what he had said and there it was. He was more upset at himself for not being there like he always was. He glanced behind him. The main hall was empty and most of the doors were closed for the night. That probably meant no one heard him, which meant no extra pitying looks from the ones he was already getting from the others. Abigail was the only one who hadn’t made one at him because she was receiving just as many, and seemed just as annoyed by them.

He figured it was going to be a long few days.

Luckily for everyone, two days and one souped-up stimpak later, Addison was stable completely, and another day later, she was conscious. More specifically, she was conscious and talking to everyone but him.

Not that it was intentional, though. Arcade had kicked him out of the room for his own benefit, apparently, earlier in the day and when Cass had found out Addison woke up and gone to find him, Arcade had been alone with her for a while, then had let Abigail in, and then caved on letting Lily in to “check on her favorite granddaughter, who never ever got sick and it was very strange indeed”, and then the others. A matter of hours after that, she was exhausted. When he finally made it back into the room, she had woken up to blink at him blearily, then smiled at him before scooting over, then settled further into the covers. He  filled in the blanks, shut the door and went to lay next to her. He settled in. After a beat, he inhaled sharply. “I’m-“

“Later. Just… stay," she murmured. 

“You got it…” he replied, then let her drape his arm over her hip.

There was silence for a while, then: “… Craig?”

“Mm?”

“… … I love you.”

He froze. Even before Maggie and his conversation ages ago, he knew it was bound to come up, especially with her, but he expected her to say it when she was one-hundred percent… _with it_ when it happened.  He hadn't known what he would say. He still didn't; the admission came as a punch to the gut, but the best punch to the gut he'd ever had. She had just almost died and he was starting to realize his feelings weren’t far off from her own, and he was sick of being the one she waited on. It was about time that he met her halfway. “I love you, too.” There. He had said it, and it did feel like a weight off his shoulders, too. Maybe not admitting it had been another one of the problems. Christ, he loved her. He had found love again in Hell. And after all this time wondering if that was a bad thing, and trying his damnedest to fight it, he didn't.

She tensed as well and he realizes she was probably just as surprised he had said it.  “I…”

“You said later, we’ll talk later. Get some rest…” he assured her.

She tilted her head to offer a smile his way, then settled into the covers again.

* * *

 

‘Later’ came in the form of him all but jumping her a matter of days later when she was up and about. Everyone but Boone and Addison had gone out for a while. She had started to make small talk with him and he had just made the decision that it was time for them to move forward, and they deserved it. He swooped down to kiss her. She was more than happy to reciprocate. and when he picked her up and started heading for the master bedroom, she yanked at his shirt to try and get there quicker. A couple of hours later found them curled up in bed, laughing at what had just transpired and muttering that they would have to do it again, which was just fine with both of them.

Neither of them knew where they were going to go, but they hardly cared enough in the now to worry about it. They would make it work as long as they can, and that’s all they could have asked for.

Not to mention when it turned out that the reason the King and Abigail had showed up at the Lucky 38 together was that because they were, in fact, together, Addison was far too preoccupied in threatening King's life with all of the "if you break Abby's heart or are using her..."  scenarios to focus on much else.

But alas, that was a story for another day. 


End file.
